Sunday, September 11, 2011

It Still Haunts Me

The signing of the papers was quick, so quick in fact I did not even make it into the court room.  In and out of the court house in like 25 minutes.  If only the whole divorce process was so quick maybe I would not have pulled half my hair out.  So I am officially divorced, I can move on, or attempt to. 

The pain haunts me and I hate it.  It is affecting me still in ways I wish it would not.  I had nightmares for days after our final court date.  I fear he will find me and break into my house and hurt me while I sleep.  And the physical pain hurts still, when it rains I can feel it in my ribs where he hit me, it aches like it did for weeks after and I had to hide the pain from my family.  It reminds me of the torment I was put through and I hate him for that.

I am so happy all that is behind me, I am in a much better place, I am so much happier now and it is invigorating to have my independence back and to be able to get ready for work in the morning and not be accused of being a whore or cheating because I am putting make up on.

I actually LOVE MY LIFE!!!

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