Times Are Tough, But They Are Never Better!

Less than one week after our divorce was final, he was fired from his job.  Naturally, it was my fault.  My fault because he hit me, and my fault because he lost his job, over a year after I left him.  Little does he know, he no longer has that hold over me.  He lost his job because he STILL cannot accept responsibility for his own actions, proof still that I made the right choice in leaving. 

 

I hear, "You know its not fair that I have to pay $xxx.xx a week in child support"  my response to that..."what is not FAIR is that he went MONTHS, without giving me a penny, repossessed the car when I left you, drained the bank accounts when I refused to come back home, and do I dare mention mentally and physically abused me for years?"  I think justice is finally being served!

 

Hear this, however, times are tough, I struggle, sometimes weekly, sometimes daily.  It is difficult to want to do so much for my kids and not be able to because financially I am still, drained.  I want them to have so much, and sometimes it is a struggle just to pay the rent, but we are happy.  We have joy in our house, and we never have to worry about our safety, or if we will be awakened in the middle of the night by things being thrown and broken.  I would trade a financial worry over that worry any day of the week.  I say that now, but I know when I was living it, I let that financial hold keep me in the situation.  I let the fact that he had all the money keep me there.  I let the fact that I did not think my family would help me hold me back.  I let the police tell me that if I left and went to a shelter it would look favorable for him to get custody of my child.  Finally I had enough, and my family and friend stepped up and helped me. 

 

Just when you think there are not resources out there, or your family or friends don't have room or care enough to help you, think again.  They are out there, where you least expect them, when you least expect them.  I have made some amazing connections out of this, and formed some even better friendships. 

 

I truly believe, if I would have stayed, I may not be alive today.  The thought of never being able to touch my children again gives me shivers.